6 Tips in Setting Boundaries with Parents
Share this content :
Do you often feel pressured to say ‘yes’ when your boundaries are being put in an uncomfortable situation? If you find it difficult to say ‘no’ to your parents, this article is for you. Through these six tips, you will learn how to confidently set boundaries and prioritize your needs without feeling guilty.
What is a Healthy Boundary?
Setting boundaries with parents draws the line between when and where you need to say ‘no’. When it comes to relationships, a healthy boundary keeps everything in a respectful manner. It protects every individual’s personal place so we can keep everyone’s sense of well-being and self-esteem. In short, healthy boundaries are things that guard us from being used, manipulated, or taken advantage of.
3 Main Types of Boundaries
Rigid Boundaries
Rigid or strict boundaries are unbendable boundaries. People with this type of setting boundaries with parents may struggle with adaptability and openness to new experiences, and may lead to social isolation. Their boundaries cannot be broken, questioned, or assessed.
Open Boundaries
Open boundaries are less defined or more easily adjusted. Individuals with open boundaries may struggle to establish clear limits. They often have a hard time saying “no” and most of the time compromising their own needs.
Clear Boundaries
Clear boundaries are a perfect balance of clearly defined and flexible boundaries. These boundaries are firm yet allow adjustments in certain situations while prioritizing personal needs. For example, an individual who has strong boundaries is open to compromise, but not to the point of dismissing their well-being or values.
Clear boundaries are an example of a healthy boundary. Although there are times that rigid and open boundaries can be necessary. Often they are temporary and situation-specific. For example, when dealing with young children, rigid boundaries may be functional in disciplining them.
If you want to learn further about setting boundaries with parents, try reading ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.‘ It can help you live with integrity and dignity, which are important for setting boundaries.
Why do healthy boundaries matter?
Treat your boundaries as your personal guard. It protects you from harmful relationships, such as those with abusers or manipulators. By prioritizing your personal needs and setting clear limits, you are engaging in a form of self-care.
It is important to recognize that setting boundaries with parents is not a sign of weakness but rather a necessary step to maintaining a healthy and fulfilling life. To know more why it is essential to learn how these kinds of habits change our lives, try reading ‘The Power of Habit’ by Charles Duhigg.
How do you set healthy boundaries?
Identify your boundaries
Take time to reflect on what is important to you. List down your priority needs. These are your non-negotiables. Then, understand your limits. Know when to draw the line between the things that drain your energy and what recharges it.
Communicate boundaries clearly
When setting boundaries with parents, you have to be specific. Let the people around you know your needs and your limitations. In communicating this, be direct yet respectful. You can always be firm, but you also need to be kind in saying them to avoid sounding accusatory. For instance, instead of saying “you are distracting me,” you can say “I need to focus on this.”
Prepare for emotional responses
People may react differently after setting boundaries with parents, especially if they are not used to you doing so. Be aware that some people might try to guilt-trip, gaslight, or otherwise manipulate you into retracting your boundary.
That’s why you need to prepare and practice a few key phrases that you can use to reiterate your boundary. Acknowledge the other person’s feelings with phrases while still holding your boundary. You can say phrases like “I see that you are upset, but this is important to me.”
Offer limited compromises
While setting boundaries with parents must be consistent, it must not be set in stone or be completely unbendable. Be open to adjusting them when necessary. Learn to assess and adjust. Be flexible when it makes sense.
Employ the “Broken Record” Technique
If someone continues to pressure you after you have said ‘no,’ calmly repeat your refusal. In this way, you are setting boundaries with parents by being firm on your decision without making the tension worse. Additionally, avoid over-explaining or trying to justify your boundaries. A clear ‘no’ can be more effective than a lengthy explanation.
Know When to Pause or Walk Away
If tensions get out of our control, it is best to take a break for a while to clear your mind. Emotions can sometimes overpower reason, leading to unproductive conversations. If the other person becomes aggressive, it’s best to end the conversation. Your safety and well-being are more important in setting boundaries with parents.
Conclusion
Saying ‘no’ should not be regarded as a negative thing. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but don’t be too hard on yourself. Understanding your limits is essential to setting boundaries with parents. Saying ‘no’ is not hard if you fully understand that you also have your limits as a person. If you find it challenging to say ‘no,’ consider reading ‘Atomic Habits‘ by James Clear for guidance on developing positive habits.
Key Takeaways
- Setting boundaries with parents means drawing the line on when to say ‘no’ and when it is okay to compromise your needs.
- Setting boundaries with parents is necessary in protecting your well-being from being used or manipulated.
- Setting boundaries with parents must not be completely unbendable. It should be open to adjustments only when it makes sense.
- When things go out of hand, it is okay to pause or to walk away from the conversation.
- Saying ‘no’ is not selfish. It is about prioritizing your needs and respecting your limits.
Disclosure: This article contains affiliate links. Clicking on these links and buying these products may result in us receiving a commission at no additional cost.
Brooten-Brooks, Michelle. (20214, July 16). How to Set Healthy Boundaries With Anyone. VeryWellHealth. How to Set Healthy Boundaries and Foster Good Relationships (verywellhealth.com)
Hailey, Logan. (2024, August 23). How to Set Boundaries: 8 Ways to Draw the Line Politely. Science of People. How to Set Boundaries: 8 Ways to Draw the Line Politely (scienceofpeople.com)
Reiter, Michael. (2019). Systems Theories for Psychotherapists: From Theory to Practice. Systems Theories for Psychotherapists – Google Books
Perry, Elizabeth. (2022, April 13). How building healthy boundaries is the key to work relationships. Betterup. Setting Healthy Boundaries in Relationships: Examples & Tips (betterup.com)
Share this content :
Being successful as a person can both be learned and taught, but you must have the willingness to overcome obstacles and create habits that will make you more successful . I will give you the systems that will do both.
Copyright © 2023 Munif Ali. All rights reserved.
