Letting Go of Perfectionism
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We live in a world that often celebrates the flawless, the polished, and the “perfect.” In fact, there is a rise in perfectionism among millennials as compared to older generations (Curran, 2017). Because of this, many of us start believing that everything we do has to be perfect, too. It can be seen in filtered social media feeds in high-pressure work environments.
While aiming for excellence is good, perfectionism can actually slow you down. They create stress, burnout, procrastination, and even make life feel harder than it should be.
If you constantly rewrite messages, delay projects because they’re “not ready,” or feel anxious over small mistakes, you might be caught in a cycle of perfectionism without even realizing it. But the truth is: the opposite of perfect is freedom.
Perfectionism Habits
Sometimes, perfectionism is a deeply ingrained behavior that drives us to set impossibly high standards for ourselves. These habits often manifest as procrastination, excessive self-criticism, or an inability to accept mistakes. Many people with these habits believe that anything less than perfect is a failure, creating a paradox: the more they chase perfection, the more disappointed and overwhelmed they feel.
Samples include:
- Over-researching simple decisions to avoid choosing wrong.
- All-or-nothing thinking: if it’s not excellent, it’s a failure.
- Harsh self-talk for minor mistakes.
- Struggling to relax unless everything is “handled.”
Recognizing these habits is the first step toward change. Knowing how perfectionism manifests in your daily life, you can begin to challenge and modify these behaviors.
Fear Of Failure is the Root of Perfectionism
Perfectionism is the belief that anything short of perfect isn’t good enough. It’s chasing flawlessness by setting standards so high they’re impossible to keep, then beating yourself up when you miss them (Gomez-Lopez et. al., 2025). At its core, it’s usually driven by fear of failure. The fear of being judged. The fear of looking weak. The fear of feeling ashamed if things don’t go your way.
When failure gets tied to self-worth, people start playing it safe. They avoid hard situations, not because they can’t handle them, but because they don’t want to risk being exposed. The problem is, avoiding challenge kills growth. Failure isn’t a disaster. It’s part of the process. If you want to move forward, the mindset has to change.
The Power of a Mindset Shift
Letting go of perfectionism means picking movement over waiting.
Stop telling yourself, “I have to get this right.”
Start telling yourself, “I’ll figure it out as I go.”
Mistakes aren’t proof that you failed. They are feedback. They show you what to adjust next. Because most of the time, those fears are just habits you can learn to let go of.
Small behavior changes can create big mindset shifts over time. Here are some practical ways to break perfectionism habits:
- Set time limits for tasks so you don’t spend hours polishing minor details.
- Focus on one priority at a time instead of juggling everything.
- Start before you feel ready, especially if you tend to overthink.
- Celebrate small wins as well as major accomplishments.
- Share your work earlier, even if it feels uncomfortable.
Keep in mind that confidence is the ability to move despite mistakes. Letting go of perfectionism is a practice that you build over time. The world doesn’t need your perfect product; it needs your authentic contribution. It needs the book you were too afraid to publish, the skill you were too nervous to try, and the voice you were too busy editing to share. When you redefine failure, choose progress, and quiet your inner critic, you open the door to a healthier, more confident version of yourself.
Take one small step, make one imperfect move, or try one new habit. Progress begins the moment you choose to let go.
If this hit home and you want a deeper session, reach out.
Key Takeaways
- Modern society often glorifies perfection, causing rising perfectionism, especially among millennials.
- While striving for excellence is healthy, perfectionism habits can lead to stress, burnout, procrastination, and constant self-doubt.
- Many people fall into perfectionism without realizing it, as shown by over-editing, delaying tasks, and anxiety over small mistakes.
- The root of perfectionism is often a deep fear of failure driven by worry about judgment, shame, or not being “good enough.”
References
“Perfectionism Is Increasing Over Time: A Meta-Analysis of Birth Cohort Differences From 1989 to 2016,” by Thomas Curran, PhD, University of Bath, and Andrew Hill, PhD, York St. John University. Psychological Bulletin, published Dec. 28, 2017.
Psychological Bulletin Journal – APA Publishing | APA. (n.d.). Https://Www.apa.org. https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/bul
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